Dear Pastor: Self-Care Is Not Selfish!
Dear Pastor,
I woke up early this morning, made a cup of coffee, drank it outside while looking at the naturescape in the city park behind us, then went for a walk. I prayed on my walk for wisdom and for daily direction from God for the church plant I’m working with.
Last night, my family spent time with our neighbours, then we hung out together for a bit before getting the kids off to bed. My wife and I watched a tv show, then I took 30 minutes to read a couple of psalms and reflect before going to bed myself.
These are the main habits and routines of my life. Note that I didn’t say, “of my spiritual life.” I integrate spiritual health into my regular routine as best I can. I’m working to develop a healthy rhythm of life where following Jesus, and the practices associated with that, become part of who I am.
I have found that this mindset works well for me because it is a more holistic approach. I used to have a more transactional way of thinking about spiritual growth and spirituality. I made the excuse that mornings were too busy because the kids were running around and we were getting them ready for school. I reasoned that evenings were “for me” because I had worked all day at my job as a pastor. That left my work hours, where I tried to maintain a Bible reading and prayer practice for an hour each day.
That worked well transactionally but often left me feeling dry, without the rich times with God that come from a more free-flowing walk with him. I also faced the problem of distractions. Because I left my spiritual practice until I arrived at my office, if I had an early drop-in or an issue I had to deal with right away, I would most often not get my devotional time in. I’m sad to say that this practice became very hit-or-miss for me.
A big shift happened for me when I began to think about my spiritual practice less as an obligation or duty to be rendered to God and more about my own spiritual self-care -- making space for God and listening to God. This change enabled me to think differently about spiritual growth. Spiritual growth was not being accomplished through the task-oriented checklist I was using, but through the way God was shaping me as I yielded to him.
When I began to think more about how I could take better care of myself, both physically and spiritually, I found that I could cultivate some simple spiritual practices around things I was already doing in my life.
I was in the habit of taking my morning coffee outside and scrolling my phone. By leaving the phone inside (and off) I have been able to pause and reflect before my day starts. This has helped me practice praise, thanksgiving, and gratitude as morning habits.
I already went for regular walks, but I listened to podcasts or music while I walked. By simply not listening to podcasts and instead listening to God, I have been able to pray more easily and have been surprised at how readily solutions to problems I am thinking over come to me during these walks.
I was already reading in the evenings to relax my mind before bed. By switching out a novel for the psalter, I have been able to spend time nightly reflecting on God’s word and praying through a psalm or two before bed. This has helped me to close my evenings in prayer and to feel rested as I fall asleep.
Self-care is not selfish. You must take care of yourself, both physically and spiritually, if you want to be effective in ministry. Resolve to let go of the duty-based approach to “doing things” for God and look for those areas in your life where you can build in reflective practices with what you are already doing.
Do you resonate with this? Do you yearn to leave the checklist approach to spiritual growth behind in favor of more authentic and genuine growth? Are you ready to begin some healthier self-care practices?
What do you need to leave behind to make this shift? What are you already doing that you could take a different approach to?
Let me know how I can serve you in this.
Love First,
Jeremy
P.S. My sweet-spot is talking with pastors about this and helping them learn how to better take care of themselves. Burnout is real, and you do not want to succumb to it. I have space right now to help one pastor and I’m offering 20% off to help you get started today. Contact me and let’s get you on a path towards healthy spiritual growth.